My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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