its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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