where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
