I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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