my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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