there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
