3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
