Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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