Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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