I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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