No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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