i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
