and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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