Porn is love you can see.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
