Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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