i would punch a child for taco bell
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
