She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
