There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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