i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
