I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Semen is not good for contacts.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
