When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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