I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
