guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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