my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
