my shit smells like andre
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
