If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
