Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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