Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
