its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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