bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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