Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
