guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Found your dick twin last night
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
