you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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