I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
