If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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