CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize