There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
