i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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