Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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