I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
