he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Let's get the cat blown out
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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