She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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