Fuck appropriateness.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
