The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
