weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
