he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
