She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
