Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
