He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
