Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
