she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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