Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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